Darkness in the Light
There’s a stain upon my beautiful heart, dark and filled with pain
Ashes in my verdant landscape shock my mind, where was the fire?
I bury it with light and love, with kindness and compassion
Pouring goodness on fear, nourishing and wholesome
Willing my heart to be open, welcoming of all gentle beings!
Mind demanding answers, why is this here? What have we done?
Swirling echoes of self-harm, dark days gone, they bridge across time
Transgressions and violations long past feed this darkness
My soul tastes fear, and watches it grow with alarm
Like spilled ink on a new dress, it won’t ever wash out
There’s a stain upon my beautiful heart.
COME, said my Soul,
Such verses for my Body let us write, (for we are one,)
That should I after death invisibly return,
Or, long, long hence, in other spheres,
There to some group of mates the chants resuming,
(Tallying Earth’s soil, trees, winds, tumultuous waves,)
Ever with pleas’d smile I may keep on,
Ever and ever yet the verses owning—as, first, I here and now,
Signing for Soul and Body, set to them my name,
Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass (1891) ❤
The first tears come in the morning, small and quiet
My heart, she sings a maudlin song, echoes of trauma past
A song of violation, violence, loathing, and loss
Her great sorrow, demanding to be heard and seen
Glimpses across time and space, moments of love and sorrow, served up by the mind
My heart, she sings her song, powerful notes slicing my psyche to ribbons
The tears flow in time to her song, I sit and watch, and wonder in pain
Will her song ever end? When will it change?
I wipe my eyes, as tears fall.
The New York Times posted an interactive page for Pride Month, asking readers to self-identify with ten words or less. Many of the answers are quite clever, and the article does ask “What labels do you choose for yourself?” – for example:
I read several of the replies, most include some statement about being a member of the LGBTQ community (as I am), and some sort of interest-based tagline (‘cinephile’, ‘fitness-motivated’).
When I think about Pride Month and Identity, I do feel pride in my community. I’m however neither proud nor not-proud of my sexuality, my gender identity, etc. What I’m truly proud of, if anything, is the spiritual growth that has come from living authentically. I’m proud that I found the courage, that I didn’t allow others to define me. Everything else is window-dressing for the main event, living as the person you are, not the one society expects you to be.
I went back to the form and filled out my ten words or less, and I found just the right words to answer the question, ‘who am I?’.
Luna agrees. 😀 ❤